June 11, 2011

Letter of Complaint






Dear PinkTaxi Blogger:


Every evening, as I return from work, I find my wife on her makeshift office/couch, laptop on her lap, editing your blog. You know her well enough to understand that she gets very involved in whatever she does, so she barely looks at me when I walk into the room, much less listen to how my day went. I ask her what she's doing and she brushes me away, and types fast, editing, or searching for random images to illustrate your postings. Why she has selected to edit on my personal time, I don't understand. Although perhaps it has to do with the fact that she herself is a mom to two demanding boys, and she tends to overcrowd their schedules and hers too with activities and sports. She certainly takes after you. Her life is scheduled like a perfect Swiss watch. How she fits in cooking clubs, and volunteering for galas, and dinner parties, I don't know. And then she has your blog, which she seems to prioritize in a very irritating way.....
Although perhaps I should be indulgent. After all, you introduced me to my wife. A matchmaker of the nineties! You have already mentioned that endeavor in a blog last year, on that same date. As a reminder, we were on roller blades when we first met, you then elbowed your husband, my now brother-in-law, while we indulged in a chocolate meltdown cake, to tell him you approved of me for your little sister.





You are also the only blood aunt my sons have, on either side. You did remind my eldest son of that, in a February blog. Those are perhaps the only postings I have actually read. Just watching the zest my wife puts into editing you discourages me to log on.

To tell you the truth, I was the first one to coin your text messages as ebonics, they were so incomprehensible. This was before your thumbs knew the BB keyboard so well that you furiously write daily essays. Dear sister in law, your idiosyncracies are well known to me. They run in your family. When your sister becomes obsessive compulsive,  about spinning daily, the way you do bikram yoga and pilates, I fear that she is turning into you.


Your blog is almost 365 posts old...the only reason it doesn't fit the Gregorian calendar is that your months are 25 posts long, because I put my foot down on weekends and holidays when your sister is out of touch and cannot edit and post you.

Today is my birthday, so I feel entitled to write this complaint. As we speak, your sister is once again editing one of your postings. If you added some more golf entries for example, the sport we share in common, perhaps I will be more indulgent, next June 12, if your blog lasts that long.

Love always,

Your brother-in-law who  actually truly loves you and your Blog !

PS: This letter has been composed by none other than PinkTaxiBlogger. All characters are fictional and do not apply to any real people.



5 comments:

  1. How did this entry turn into an appraisal of the blogger and her sister editor? Shouldn't it be about the birthday boy?

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  2. Happy Birthday D!... Wishing you many years of happiness. kisses to all...
    xxx n

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  3. Happy Birthday Dean! But wait I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the Pink Taxi blogger, my obsessive cousin, the bane of the existence of carbs and who wears a T-shirt that says BIKRAM.. LEARN IT, KNOW IT, LOVE IT, ate a chocolate cake? And not just any cake...a chocolate “melt down” cake? Are you sure you weren’t just delusional because you had bumped your head while skating or else had stars in your eyes at the first glimpse of your future wife? And did the “melt down” refer to the fact that my OCD cousin had an actual melt down because she realized that it actually wasn’t made of whey protein but honest to goodness fat and sugar? Oh the saints be saved! Just when I thought I had lost her to the abyss of pain is good and agony is even better there is light at the end of the tunnel…

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  4. Happy, very belated, Birthday Dean! It scared me when I saw the "letter of complaint" on the blog site, the picture scared me even more! thank God he looks nothing like you, your teeth are so perfect! Any way, glad every one loves each other and we all have a sense of humor!!

    ReplyDelete
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